A Date With Your Family (1950)
Title
A Date With Your Family (1950)
Subject
Social guidance films
Children
Family
Parents
Etiquette for children and teenagers
Instructional films
Teenagers
Social guidance
Description
In "A Date With Your Family," (Simmel-Meservey, 1950) the "ideal" American family has a hard-working father, home-making mother and siblings who run straight home after school to do their chores and hang out with their parents. Traditional gender roles abound and family etiquette is of utmost importance. Around the dinner table, “pleasant” interactions between family members are encouraged, even at the expense of emotional honesty. This “fake it ‘til you make it” approach to domestic bliss is exemplified in the memorable scene (around 3:40 in the film) in which the kids greet their dad “as though they are genuinely happy to see him” - even if they secretly are not.
Creator
Simmel, Edward C. (Director)
Jones, Arthur V. (Writer)
Source
Prelinger Archive
Publisher
Simmel-Meservey
Date
1950
Contributor
Votzmeyer, Michelle
Rights
Public domain
Format
Various
Language
English
Type
Moving image
Identifier
A Date With Your Family. Directed by Edward C. Simmel. Los Angeles, CA: Simmel-Meservry, 1950. SD, B&W. Accessed January 18, 2016, Web. https://archive.org/details/DateWith1950
Coverage
United States
1950
California
Los Angeles
Original Format
Film
Duration
10:00 minutes
Compression
MPEG
Producer
Simmel-Meservey
Director
Simmel, Edward C.
Transcription
NARRATOR [male voice]: This boy and girl, coming home from school, look quite content with life. And why not? They're looking forward to an important date: dinner at home with the family. What's the matter? Doesn't it sound exciting to you? Well, to them it's a special occasion, as it has been ever since they sat down to dinner in high chairs. Why should they feel that way about something you take completely for granted? Well, let's see if we can find out.
First of all, Daughter has changed from school clothes to something more festive. Dressing a little makes her feel and consequently look more charming. Even the table takes on a special air. Mother, too, changes from her daytime clothes. The women of this family seem to feel that they owe it to the men of the family to look relaxed, rested and attractive at dinnertime.
Brother is spending an hour before dinner catching up on his homework. He has plans [this] evening. Perhaps that explains [the] telephone call. But he won't spend a lot of time on the phone, either. When there are several members of the family to be considered, it is not a good idea for one member to monopolize the phone, and it is never good to allow telephone conversations to interfere with studies.
Hmm, is it that late? Dad'll be here any minute. Better tell Mother she's needed in the kitchen.
Brother notices the time and realizes that he must put things in order and clean himself up in time for dinner. ‘Hello there!’ Junior is always in a hurry, particularly for dinner. But first, there's a cleanup job to do on this young man. Brother takes it upon himself to help share Junior's responsibility for keeping their room in good order and keeping Junior in good order, too. Punctuality is stressed in this household. By that, I mean hair is combed and faces and hands scrubbed before the boys come to the table, so they won't delay the meal.
Now, Mother and Daughter put the finishing touches on the dinner.
Father, too, looks forward to this date with the family. He has had a hard day at the office and in his briefcase are some contracts which must be looked over tonight. But in the meantime, he will relax at dinner with those he loves.
A simple centerpiece made with some flowers which grow in the backyard is another of Daughter's contributions to dinner. But it takes up a little too much room, so she moves it to the sideboard.
These boys greet their dad as though they are genuinely glad to see him, as though they had really missed being away from him during the day and are anxious to talk to him. This is the time for pleasant discussion in a thoroughly relaxed mood. They don't pick this time of the day to spring unpleasant surprises on dad. If they have disagreeable news, they'll postpone the discussion until another time. And this is no time to dun Father for a raise in your allowance, new clothes or other financial matters.
Ah, dinnertime. ‘Yes, Mother, Junior remembered to clean up.’ Brother seats Junior, then helps Mother to her chair as he would his best girl.
Well, the dinner date has begun, and they’re all happy about it.
Many families throughout the country observe the custom of saying grace at mealtime. it is always treated with reverence and respect.
Napkins on the lap, the family awaits service. They converse pleasantly while Dad serves. I said “pleasantly” for that is the key note at dinner time. it is not only good manners, but good sense. Pleasant, unemotional conversation helps digestion. Father serves Mother first, then Daughter, then the boys. Don’t worry, fellows, you won’t get left.
‘Help cut your meat Junior?’ Of course. By example, older children can teach younger ones good table manners.
No one starts eating until Father has served himself. Always wait for the hostess, in this case, Mother, to begin eating before you start. Let Father and Mother guide the conversational trend if they desire. After all, they made all this possible, and may want to talk over their day with each other. Tell Mother how good the food is. Maybe Sis rates a compliment, too. It makes them want to continue pleasing you.
Well, all this is good general advice, but there are some specific don’ts. Maybe the family will demonstrate for us.
Don't monopolize the conversation and go on and on without stopping. Nothing destroys the charm of a meal more quickly. To say that the rest of the group is bored would be a gross understatement.
Don’t discuss unpleasant topics such as gruesome sights or sounds, or unpleasant occurrences. This is a time of pleasure and charm and relaxation, remember?
Don’t make unkind comparisons about your standard of living. The dinner table is no place for discontent. It makes Dad and Mother uncomfortable and unhappy.
Don't insult your brother or sisters with offensive remarks about friends. Arguments and harsh words mean tension and distress for everyone.
Do remember simply this: treat the other members of your family with the same respect and cordiality you would show your most treasured friend outside the family circle. This does not mean you should be stiff or formal. With your own family you can relax. Be yourself, just be sure it’s your best self.
This is better. Now, things are on an even keel again. Now we’re ready for dessert. Most families don’t have maids, so Mother needs help with the serving from the kitchen. Son says Mother has done enough. Watch him play butler. The removal of dishes from the main course and the serving of dessert set the stage for a thoroughly pleasant meal.
Do you begin to see now how a date with your family can be a truly special occasion? Do you know why Brother and Sister looked forward to the evening? When the dinner hour at home is treated with a certain amount of grace and ceremony, it can be memorable. There is no family so poor but that the evening meal can be eaten in an atmosphere of warmth and gentleness. There is no family so busy but that it can come together in the evening for a dinner date which will give its members something to look back upon with happiness, all their days.
First of all, Daughter has changed from school clothes to something more festive. Dressing a little makes her feel and consequently look more charming. Even the table takes on a special air. Mother, too, changes from her daytime clothes. The women of this family seem to feel that they owe it to the men of the family to look relaxed, rested and attractive at dinnertime.
Brother is spending an hour before dinner catching up on his homework. He has plans [this] evening. Perhaps that explains [the] telephone call. But he won't spend a lot of time on the phone, either. When there are several members of the family to be considered, it is not a good idea for one member to monopolize the phone, and it is never good to allow telephone conversations to interfere with studies.
Hmm, is it that late? Dad'll be here any minute. Better tell Mother she's needed in the kitchen.
Brother notices the time and realizes that he must put things in order and clean himself up in time for dinner. ‘Hello there!’ Junior is always in a hurry, particularly for dinner. But first, there's a cleanup job to do on this young man. Brother takes it upon himself to help share Junior's responsibility for keeping their room in good order and keeping Junior in good order, too. Punctuality is stressed in this household. By that, I mean hair is combed and faces and hands scrubbed before the boys come to the table, so they won't delay the meal.
Now, Mother and Daughter put the finishing touches on the dinner.
Father, too, looks forward to this date with the family. He has had a hard day at the office and in his briefcase are some contracts which must be looked over tonight. But in the meantime, he will relax at dinner with those he loves.
A simple centerpiece made with some flowers which grow in the backyard is another of Daughter's contributions to dinner. But it takes up a little too much room, so she moves it to the sideboard.
These boys greet their dad as though they are genuinely glad to see him, as though they had really missed being away from him during the day and are anxious to talk to him. This is the time for pleasant discussion in a thoroughly relaxed mood. They don't pick this time of the day to spring unpleasant surprises on dad. If they have disagreeable news, they'll postpone the discussion until another time. And this is no time to dun Father for a raise in your allowance, new clothes or other financial matters.
Ah, dinnertime. ‘Yes, Mother, Junior remembered to clean up.’ Brother seats Junior, then helps Mother to her chair as he would his best girl.
Well, the dinner date has begun, and they’re all happy about it.
Many families throughout the country observe the custom of saying grace at mealtime. it is always treated with reverence and respect.
Napkins on the lap, the family awaits service. They converse pleasantly while Dad serves. I said “pleasantly” for that is the key note at dinner time. it is not only good manners, but good sense. Pleasant, unemotional conversation helps digestion. Father serves Mother first, then Daughter, then the boys. Don’t worry, fellows, you won’t get left.
‘Help cut your meat Junior?’ Of course. By example, older children can teach younger ones good table manners.
No one starts eating until Father has served himself. Always wait for the hostess, in this case, Mother, to begin eating before you start. Let Father and Mother guide the conversational trend if they desire. After all, they made all this possible, and may want to talk over their day with each other. Tell Mother how good the food is. Maybe Sis rates a compliment, too. It makes them want to continue pleasing you.
Well, all this is good general advice, but there are some specific don’ts. Maybe the family will demonstrate for us.
Don't monopolize the conversation and go on and on without stopping. Nothing destroys the charm of a meal more quickly. To say that the rest of the group is bored would be a gross understatement.
Don’t discuss unpleasant topics such as gruesome sights or sounds, or unpleasant occurrences. This is a time of pleasure and charm and relaxation, remember?
Don’t make unkind comparisons about your standard of living. The dinner table is no place for discontent. It makes Dad and Mother uncomfortable and unhappy.
Don't insult your brother or sisters with offensive remarks about friends. Arguments and harsh words mean tension and distress for everyone.
Do remember simply this: treat the other members of your family with the same respect and cordiality you would show your most treasured friend outside the family circle. This does not mean you should be stiff or formal. With your own family you can relax. Be yourself, just be sure it’s your best self.
This is better. Now, things are on an even keel again. Now we’re ready for dessert. Most families don’t have maids, so Mother needs help with the serving from the kitchen. Son says Mother has done enough. Watch him play butler. The removal of dishes from the main course and the serving of dessert set the stage for a thoroughly pleasant meal.
Do you begin to see now how a date with your family can be a truly special occasion? Do you know why Brother and Sister looked forward to the evening? When the dinner hour at home is treated with a certain amount of grace and ceremony, it can be memorable. There is no family so poor but that the evening meal can be eaten in an atmosphere of warmth and gentleness. There is no family so busy but that it can come together in the evening for a dinner date which will give its members something to look back upon with happiness, all their days.
Files
Citation
Simmel, Edward C. (Director) and Jones, Arthur V. (Writer), “A Date With Your Family (1950),” Post War Teen Tuning, accessed April 20, 2024, https://postwarteentuning.omeka.net/items/show/7.